One minute … one minute please. Time … thank you!Одна минута … осталась одна минута. Время вышло, спасибо.
Could you all please put down your pens and bring your papers to the front of the room?Положите, пожалуйста ручки и принесите ваши листки ко мне на стол (дословно: к началу комнаты).
Thank you. Well done! Thank you … Thank you … Thank you.Спасибо. Хорошо. Спасибо…
Oh! I’m sorry you’re too late.О, мне очень жаль, но слишком поздно.
I gave you plenty of warnings about time.Я много раз предупреждал об окончании времени.
You’ve failed. Sorry.Вы не сдали. Извините
Excuse me. Do you know who I am?Простите, а Вы знаете кто я такой?
I have absolutely no idea.Не имею ни малейшего понятия.

В нескольких местах я не смог разобрать слов в ролике.

Например фраза: “Could you all please” – сливается в один звук, я нашел транскрипт в интернете, но тоже не все ясно, потому что в некоторых местах указаны другие версии: “Can you all” и “Could you all”.

Фраза “to the front of the room” тоже очень плохо слышна и я не уверен, что в конце действительно слово “room”.

Предлагайте свои варианты в комментариях.


English Joke

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well… uh… that’s because the picture shows his PROFILE.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!” The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds, “…think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm… the suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer… wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it… it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”